Around this time every year I start to miss central heating and the comforts of a “normal” home.
I start questioning our decision to live the way we do. Back then we could have chosen to rent an apartment in town and I must admit that there are moments when I wish we had.
But I know that these are temporary thoughts. And I know that we made the right decision. We were naive about the things we could achieve in the span of three years. We thought we would have everything paid off and would be able to live half self-sufficient with rain water systems, polytunnel and solar panels. The thought of this now makes me laugh.
We didn’t know anything about raising children and how much time and energy it would take. We didn’t know how time consuming it would be to keep animals, grow vegetables, build our home and make it comfortable. And we didn’t realize how long and hard it would be to repay our loans.
But looking back I’m so glad about our naivety. Too much “realism” would have never brought us to where we are now. I’m glad we had those big dreams because many of them DID come true. And I’m sure that many more will. That’s why I have to remind myself in dark stormy winter nights why we are doing this, why we live like this and that any discomforts now are just temporarily.
How about you? Do you follow a big dream (or a small one) and find it hard to keep on track sometimes? How do you keep up the spirits in difficult times?
I totally empathise, and we are not even attempting half of what you are at the moment. Sometimes, just getting through the day with everyone washed, dressed and fed is an achievement in itself, so working on such hugely transformative projects as you are is a challenge and a half! Adjusting to the new pace of life that motherhood foists on us is a seeminly neverending challenge too… just as we get used to one phase and think things are getting easier, something else changes and makes it harder. Looking forward to watching your wonderful eco living schemes progress! x
Hi Myfie! Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I hope your own dreams will come true too (I love your blog by the way!!!). ~ Love, Halina
This article reminded me of the same situation my parents were in when they first moved into a very old, very cheap house. My brother was 6 and I was 2, so I don’t recall much of it and only know the stories my mother used to tell. The house was in need of repair that’s why it was so affordable, though my parents were young and never faced anything like that, so they totally miscalculated the efforts to be made and the time needed. Apparently we all cuddled up together on old matresses in the harsh winter in a cold house, water had to be boiled on a small oil stove and the only heating was a radiator which only blew dust and asbestos into the air
I grew up in this old house and I have so many great memories, a huge garden, apple trees and raspberry hedges. My parents did everything right, I’d say, even by letting their kids go through some harder times, all of that was a necessary experience. I admire you and your family to be able to still live those experiences and adventures. These are the times you look back at and think “Wow, it was really ugly back then but we managed and we’re happy”. Your kids are so lucky to grow up like this in those times where anyone seems to be snobby and spoiled and not used to work your ass off ;D
Thank you Eva. Yes I have no doubt that our children are quite happy. They seem to be most of the time anyway. They have a lot of space to run around if the weather is half decent and they can watch and help us with many projects like building something or working in the garden. And I remember parts of my own childhood being similar (my mother writes about it in the German comment below) – my memories are similar to yours: a very happy childhood. We didn’t miss anything.
But I think it’s more difficult for adults, because they are the ones who have to worry about all the things that children (luckily) don’t see yet (money, food, house, hygiene, etc etc). And maybe it’s true that you want a bit more comfort/luxury the older you get. I don’t know. The best thing is to learn a few things from your children (again) and enjoy the present as much as possible.
Liebe Halina,
ich finde, was Eva geschrieben hat, sehr wertvoll und zutreffend. Und wenn ich so an die Zeit zurück denke, als ihr klein wart – da war unsere Wohnungssituation auch nicht viel besser – nur gehörte es uns nicht und wir konnten immer nur umziehen, wenn wir was ändern wollten. Aber in meiner Erinnerung war dies die lebendigste Zeit. Es kam nicht so auf das Äußere an, sondern auf uns alle. Ich erinnere mich, dass der Tag damit ausgefüllt war, nur die Grundbedürfnisse von allen zu versorgen – und nebenbei auch noch Geld zu verdienen. Mir selbst ist selten aufgefallen, wie einfach wir lebten, ich empfand es nie so, da in unserer Vorstellung ja schon alles fertig war. Es waren immer andere, die unsere Träume nicht kannten und nur den Ist- Zustand wahrnahmen, die uns völlig ernüchtern ließen, so dass uns unser “Paradies” gar nicht mehr schön vorkam. Hielt aber nicht allzu lange an. Erst als wir nach Trier gingen (immer noch altes Haus) wuchsen die Ansprüche und mit dem neuen Haus war man auf das Außen fixiert – den Rest kennst du ja.
Also, ich beneide (und gönne) euch um eure gemeinsame Träume, die Fähigkeit, das alles schon in Gedanken vor sich zu sehen, als wäre es fertig – und voll Vorfreude darauf zu sein. Das ist es, was ein Leben reich und glücklich macht. Ob es dann auch so wird, ist zweitrangig. Nach einer Weile ändern sich die Vorstellungen – meist bevor man es geschafft hat, sie in die Tat umzusetzen. Aber das macht nichts – solange alle den gleichen Traum träumen und gemeinsam die Veränderungen in den Zielen mittragen.
Also, genießt euer Leben, wie es ist. Auch in meinem zentralgeheizten, mit teurem Kaminofen zusätzlich gewärmten baubiologischen Holzhaus mit Panoramablick und Stadtnähe kriecht der Winterblues durch die Ritzen, dass ich es kaum noch erwarten kann, in den Süden zu fliegen. Das hat die Natur so eingerichtet, damit man jedes Jahr im Frühjahr vor Lebensfreude tanzt, einfach nur, weil der Winter rum ist, und man es wieder geschafft hat, ihn zu überstehen. So, jetzt gehe ich schlafen. Knuddel alle von mir,
Mama
Danke Mama! Ja, ich habe nur gute Erinnerungen an unsere Kindheit (zumindest bis ich 11 war aber das ist ja eh eine ganz andere Geschichte). Du hast recht, es kommt vor allem auf die Menschen, das Miteinander an, welche Traeume man hat, wie man den Alltag zusammen meistert und dass man sich lieb hat.