First my apologies for having been absent for such a long time.
I needed this break and I have been thinking a lot (so be prepared…;) ).
When I started this Blog a bit over a year ago one of my intentions was to earn some money with it. I wasn’t sure how but I knew it was possible because so many other people do it all over the web.
So I started blogging and reading, and writing and reading some more. I learned a lot along the way.
Now I know many ways to earn money with a blog (for example by having sponsors or by selling e-books, e-courses and other products that you create). I learned how to record a guided imagery, how to set up an e-mail subscriber list, how to have a self-hosted website with my own domain, how to use various social media sites and many other things.
I enjoyed all of it. But I didn’t like the pressure I put myself under while I was doing it.
I’ve been writing about our life in the country side, how to embrace the wonders of everyday life, how to live slow and in connection with nature but something felt wrong.
Inside I felt restless. “How can I earn money with this?” was a constant background chatter in my mind. “What is it that I can give to the world? Tell me, tell me! How can I earn money?”
I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to earn money but I suddenly realized that it’s not the time for that right now.
I want to slow down. I want to actually live the life that I praise in my posts.
Raising children is a huge task, and more challenging than many full-time jobs. But for some strange reason it’s often not recognized as such. Not even by mothers who are doing it. I felt like I needed to earn money in order to gain self-worth.
Being “only” a mother who looks after house and kids was one of my horror scenarios when I was younger. Before we had children Martin and I always talked about equality and how we wanted to share work, household and raising children.
I’m sure it’s possible for some people and maybe one day we will be able to live this old dream of equality. But right now we can’t. I want to stop being everywhere, doing everything at the same time (and actually getting nowhere with it).
Raising children, building a business, organizing and keeping a house (which is still not finished), growing a garden, maintaining friends and a happy relationship, dealing with old stuff from the past,…I’m actually glad I had a bit of a break down a few weeks ago because it made me realize what I was doing here.
For months I’ve felt that I wasn’t doing anything right anymore. I wasn’t getting anywhere with this blog (or so it felt) and I wasn’t a good mother either, nor a good friend nor anything.
So I will take a break from blogging until I find out what my next steps are.
Thank you so much for following, commenting and reading silently. I appreciate every single one of you and hope we’ll meet again soon.